Brave...

This post started out several weeks ago as an update on another website. I thought about leaving it at that, but I kept having the feeling that I should share it here as well - in a modified form - though I'm not really sure why.
So, for those few of you who may have read portions of this already, I apologize...

I've been thinking lately of some of the conversations Jason and I had when he would come and visit. More than once he told me how brave he thought I was for moving to and teaching in the town where I live without the benefit of having a huge support base. I always told him that I didn't know how brave I was... but he insisted that it was true - that I was indeed brave. He said that he wasn't sure he could have done it. I had a hard time picturing that because he always seemed so confident and self-assured. And here I was thinking that HE was the brave one moving to Utah the way that he did...and that I wasn't sure I could have done it... lol... In fact, I was pretty positive I couldn't. Come to think of it, though, I'm not sure I ever told him that...
(In many ways, I suppose, this was just another illustration of the fact that there are so many things that we do not and cannot know about what goes on in the hearts and minds of others. And because we are finite creatures with limited knowledge it is not our job to judge - for good or bad. We cannot know all of their triumphs, strengths, trials, weaknesses, and worries. It IS our job to uplift and support one another along the way...)

I can tell you this now - though I may not always feel brave - his words to me made me WANT to be brave...

They made me want to try a few new things, to put myself out there more and to try to make new connections with others - which is difficult for me.  I seem to lack that skill that Jason seemed to have down to a fine art. (I know he probably made it look easier than it was - even for him. That was another thing he was good at - making difficult things look simple. He never let on when things were hard for him, though I wish now that he would have been able to do that more.) Written words seem to come easier for me than spoken ones sometimes... perhaps the fear of rejection is less...  but through Jason's friendship, and that of other good and dear friends - (Thank you, John and Allisha) - I am trying to get over my reticence and in the trying have met some very wonderful new people who accepted me as I was shyness, quirkiness, and all - just like Jason did... (Thank you, Gerb, Rachel, and Shawna.) I don't honestly think he had any clue how much he influenced me - and others - in that way. It feels good to have people accept you where you are at while encouraging you to live up to your potential.

I have to admit that my bravery and confidence have taken a little blow in the past while, but as time goes on I am confident it will return little by little as I push past my doubts and fears. I am determined to keep meeting new people, making new friends, and trying new things...

So, thanks for having confidence in me, my friend, for helping me try to find the courage to attempt to be "Fearless"...

and to try and "Touch the Sky"...

And, lest anyone fear that I have set my friend upon too high of a pedestal, rest assured that I understand that he - like the rest of us - was not perfect. He had his struggles and weaknesses, as well as his triumphs and strengths. Isn't that true about each of us? That does not diminish the impact he had on the lives of those who knew him.

If anything it makes it even more impressive.

*For those who are interested, here are the lyrics to both songs that I shared. I think there is a powerful message in both of them.

Fearless – by Pandorum

Walking in a straight line

Don’t give up tonight

And all your fears combined

There’s no need to hide

Don’t you run away

You will find your way

Deep inside

And I will fight for you

If you want me to

Tonight

Then a light brightens up the dark

And gives you the hope

To fight again

And you won’t stand

On your own

Just take a breath within

You’re not alone

You are not alone

You are not alone

You are not alone anymore

One voice alone

Is one heart that’s strong

Will get you through

Two steps in front

Is three times the love

You’ll never fall

Then a light brightens up the dark

And gives you the hope

To fight again

And you won’t stand

On your own

Just take a breath within

You’re not alone

So open your eyes

Take your wings for a ride

And don’t look down

All the hurting inside

Is just pain that subsides

You can only try

We can try

We can try

Then a light brightens up the dark

And gives you the hope

To fight again

And you won’t stand

On your own

Just take a breath within

You’re not alone

Say goodbye

No more fears

You feel inside

Say goodbye

You know its time

To live your life

Touch the Sky - Julie Fowlis 

(Disney/Pixar's Brave Soundtrack)

When cold wind is a calling 

And the sky is clear and bright,

Misty mountains sing and beckon me 

Lead me out into the night. 

I will ride, I will fly

Chase the wind and touch the sky. 

I will fly, chase the wind and touch the sky. 

Where dark roots hide secrets

And mountains are fierce and bold. 

Deep waters hold reflections 

Of times lost long ago. 

I will hear their e’ry story 

Take hold of my own dreams

Be as strong as the seas are stormy, 

And proud as an eagle’s scream.

I will ride, I will fly

Chase the wind and touch the sky. 

I will fly, chase the wind and touch the sky. 

Melon Madness.... Life Through My Lens

This same time every year in the humble hamlet where I live a certain kind of madness sets in...

Melon Madness...

Photograph by Backroads Photography (August 2011) - Thanks, Jason...

I thought I'd share a few moments from this year's Melon Days celebration....
(Thanks to the H's for letting me join in the fun with them.)

Friendship...

The events of the past few weeks have been a poignant reminder to me not to leave things unsaid. They have also been a reminder of the value of true friends both old and new. While I imagine many of us have wonderful friends, do we take the time to let them know we feel that way? Do we make the effort to give voice to the feelings of our hearts?

We may think that those around us know that we care and that we don't need to say the words. Perhaps we aren't comfortable in expressing our feelings through words and simply hope that actions suffice. Perhaps we take for granted that the words have been spoken and need not be repeated. Whatever the reason we often lose opportunities to let others know how we feel.

If there is anything that I have learned from the experiences of the last several weeks it is that we need to tell those for whom we care how we feel - and often - because we never know when it will be too late. We never know what difference a few words coupled with action can make in someone's life.

It is in that light this post was born.

The past few years I have come in contact with wonderful people in the town where I live and have developed friendships with many of them.

Yet, there are a few who have gone above and beyond the call of ordinary friendship. To those people I say a deep and heartfelt thank you even though that doesn't seem to be enough. You cannot know how I treasure the kindness and compassion you show me on a continual basis. Your support and care help sustain me through difficult times and your fun and laughter make good days into great ones. Whether "Nanny McD" or "Auntie M" or simply "Ms. D" your acceptance of me into your lives is a true blessing. Your encouragement and acknowledgement of my strengths - even when I may not see them myself uplifts me and your acceptance of my weaknesses and foibles while still encouraging me to grow and change and improve makes me a better person. I only hope that I can be the kind of friend to you that you are to me.

So thank you...
      for laughing at silly jokes...
      for lifting when I fall...
      for inviting me into your family...
      for encouraging, and cajoling, and uplifting...
      for simply being who you are...

Thanks....

Life Through My Lens - Take me out to the ballgame...

Take me out with the crowd...

On Saturday I attended a Little League baseball game that my friends' children were playing in. We decided since the game had such a late start we would all pitch in and have a simple barbecue at the ball field before the game began. Here are a few shots of our little gathering. It made me smile.

(Quick disclosure - I know the photos aren't the best, but they captured the mood and fun of the evening.)

I think a fun time was had by all.

(Sadly our team lost... better luck next time.)

Life Through My Lens - Shadows...

Friendship is the shadow of the evening, which increases with the setting sun of life.

 - Jean de La Fontaine

I am fortunate to have been blessed with good friends who share their lives with me. Thanks for being an influence in my life for good.

Life Through My Lens - Not forgotten...

On Saturday I had the chance to attend The Forgotten Carols with some very good friends.

For those who are unfamiliar with the story I'll share the general idea behind the Carols. The premise, according to the show's creator, was to think of the Christmas story from the perspective of those who may have missed out on the wondrous event. People like the innkeeper who turned the Holy Family away, a sleeping shepherd who missed the herald angels, an angel who could not sing in the heavenly choir, and so on. What are their carols?

While there are powerful messages in many of the "forgotten" carols there are a couple that never cease to move me. I Cannot Find My Way is one of them. This song puts into words the feelings that so many of us have felt at one time or another, perhaps may still be feeling. With so many different choices and voices, how can we know which is the right one? On stage there is powerful imagery as one by one the choir stands and faces different directions as if they truly are lost and trying to "find their way..." until the entire choir is standing and pleading, "Lord, help us find our way back home..." 

It also got me to wondering what my carol would be?

Toward the end of the performance, after the actors have left the stage and we are left with the creator of The Forgotten Carols, Michael McLean, who sits down at a piano and simply starts playing Together, Forever a song that reminds us that though we may be far from those we love through distance or hardship or even death, there is hope of seeing them once again - someday.  What better time to remind us than at Christmas, when He who passed below all things was born.