I was asked to speak in Sacrament Meeting today on my favorite talk from this April's General Conference. When I was given the assignment I knew instantly which talk I was going to focus on because I was so profoundly touched by it when it was given. Below I have shared my talk. If you want to see or read President Uchtdorf's conference address in it's entirety I have added links so that you can do so.
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When I was asked if I would speak today, I was grateful for the chance. That’s a little ironic coming from me, since speaking in front of people is one of the things that make me the most nervous. Still I truly am thankful to have this opportunity. I pray that the Spirit will be with me as I speak so that I will be able to give the message I have prepared in a way that is of worth to all of us and pleasing to our Heavenly Father.
I was asked
to choose my favorite talk from this past General Conference. That’s not
necessarily an easy task, given that there was so much of great worth that was
spoken of during Conference. One of the
greatest things I gained from Conference was a renewed testimony that our
Heavenly Father and our Elder Brother Jesus Christ know each one of us
personally and inspire our leaders to give us the messages we need to hear when
we need to hear them.
The talk I
chose to speak on today was President Uchtdorf's which seemed to be a direct
answer to prayers that have been lifted to Heavenly Father recently. I hope you will
bear with me and forgive me if I am a bit emotional as I speak because the
message of this talk touched me so deeply.
President Uchtdorf began his address by saying: “Over the years, I have had the sacred opportunity to meet with many people whose sorrows seem to reach the very depths of their soul. In these moments, I have listened to my beloved brothers and sisters and grieved with them over their burdens. I have pondered what to say to them, and I have struggled to know how to comfort and support them in their trials.
President Uchtdorf began his address by saying: “Over the years, I have had the sacred opportunity to meet with many people whose sorrows seem to reach the very depths of their soul. In these moments, I have listened to my beloved brothers and sisters and grieved with them over their burdens. I have pondered what to say to them, and I have struggled to know how to comfort and support them in their trials.
Often their
grief is caused by what seems to them as an ending. Some are facing the end of
a cherished relationship, such as the death of a loved one or estrangement from
a family member. Others feel they are facing the end of hope—the hope of being
married or bearing children or overcoming an illness. Others may be facing the
end of their faith, as confusing and conflicting voices in the world tempt them
to question, even abandon, what they once knew to be true. Sooner or later, I
believe that all of us experience times when the very fabric of our world tears
at the seams, leaving us feeling alone, frustrated, and adrift. It can happen
to anyone. No one is immune.
Everyone’s
situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless,
I have learned that there is something that would take away the bitterness that
may come into our lives. There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter,
more joyful, even glorious.
We can be
grateful!
It might
sound contrary to the wisdom of the world to suggest that one who is burdened
with sorrow should give thanks to God. But those who set aside the bottle of
bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink
of healing, peace, and understanding.
As disciples
of Christ, we are commanded to “thank the Lord [our] God in all things,” to
“sing unto the Lord with thanksgiving,” and to “let [our] heart be full of
thanks unto God.”
Why does God
command us to be grateful?
All of His
commandments are given to make blessings available to us. Commandments are
opportunities to exercise our agency and to receive blessings. Our loving
Heavenly Father knows that choosing to develop a spirit of gratitude will bring
us true joy and great happiness.”
I know that
in our own lives, all of us have times when we are dealt situations that may
cause us to wonder how we can have a grateful heart as President Uchtdorf
suggests. It may be an illness of our
own or that of a loved one. It may be someone we care about or even ourselves
dealing with the emotional or mental anguish brought on by battling depression
or anxiety. Maybe it is the separation from family members and friends who need to move on. Perhaps it is the loss of a family member or a friend in
tragic circumstances and we wonder why they are gone so soon when it seemed
they had so much more they could have done, so much of life left to live and so much left to give.
President
Uchtdorf says, “…some might say, “What do I have to be grateful for when my
world is falling apart?”
He then
continues, “Perhaps focusing on what we are grateful for is the wrong approach. It is difficult to develop a spirit of
gratitude if our thankfulness is only proportional to the number of blessings
we can count…I don’t believe the Lord expects us to be less thankful in times
of trial than in times of abundance and ease. In fact, most of the scriptural
references do not speak of gratitude for
things but rather suggest an overall spirit or attitude of gratitude.
It is easy
to be grateful for things when life seems to be going our way. But what then of
those times when what we wish for seems to be far out of reach?
Could I
suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands
independent of our current situation? In other words, I’m suggesting that
instead of being thankful for things,
we focus on being thankful in our
circumstances—whatever they may be…the choice is ours. We can choose to limit
our gratitude, based on the blessings we feel we lack. Or we can choose to be
like Nephi, whose grateful heart never faltered. When his brothers tied him up
on the ship—which he had built to take them to the promised land—his ankles and
wrists were so sore “they had swollen exceedingly,” and a violent storm
threatened to swallow him up in the depths of the sea. “Nevertheless,” Nephi
said, “I did look unto my God, and I did praise him all the day long; and I did
not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions.”
We can
choose to be grateful, no matter what.”
To me, that
means we can be thankful in spite of what we may see as endings. Instead of
remaining sorrowful at the loss of those for whom we care, we can have
gratitude that we were blessed to know them for whatever amount of time we did,
whether lengthy or brief. Instead of
being saddened by the trials we are asked to go through we can be grateful for
the strength the Lord gives us to help us overcome them through our own efforts
or through the blessing of others who are prompted to help us.
President
Uchtdorf reminds us that “We can choose to be like Job, who seemed to have everything
but then lost it all, yet…responded “… the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken
away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”
This type of
gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses
disappointment, discouragement, and despair. It blooms just as beautifully in
the icy landscape of winter as it does in the pleasant warmth of summer.
When we are
grateful to God in our circumstances,
we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can
still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s
Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and
warmth of heaven’s embrace.
We sometimes
think that being grateful is what we do after
our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of
life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is
rain?
Being
grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our
circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our
present-day challenges.
This is not
a gratitude of the lips but of the soul. It is a gratitude that heals the heart
and expands the mind.
Being
grateful in our circumstances is an act of faith in God. It requires that we
trust God and hope for things we may not see but which are true. By being
grateful, we follow the example of our beloved Savior, who said, “Not my will,
but thine, be done.”
True
gratitude is an expression of hope and testimony. It comes from acknowledging
that we do not always understand the trials of life but trusting that one day
we will.
In any
circumstance, our sense of gratitude is nourished by the many and sacred truths
we do know: that our Father has given His children the great plan of happiness;
that through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ, we can live forever with
our loved ones; that in the end, we will have glorious, perfect, and immortal
bodies, unburdened by sickness or disability; and that our tears of sadness and
loss will be replaced with an abundance of happiness and joy, “good measure,
pressed down, and shaken together, and running over.”
In light of
what we know about our eternal destiny, is it any wonder that whenever we face
the bitter endings of life, they seem unacceptable to us? There seems to be
something inside of us that resists endings.
Why is this?
Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. We are eternal beings, children
of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless and who promises eternal blessings
without number. Endings are not our destiny.”
“The more we
learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ, the more we realize that endings here
in mortality are not endings at all. They are merely interruptions—temporary
pauses that one day will seem small compared to the eternal joy awaiting the
faithful. How grateful I am to my Heavenly Father that in His plan there are no
true endings, only everlasting beginnings.”
While I was
inspired by all of President Uchtdorf’s talk it was the part I just read that
addressed so clearly what I needed. I’d
like to share some of the reasons why.
Starting around
October my mother began to have some significant health issues. After meeting
with her doctor several times with little conclusive information on what was happening
to her, and with her health continuing to deteriorate - my mom was finally referred
to a neurologist in Provo at the beginning of March.
After battling and surviving cancer almost a
dozen years ago, and dealing with and successfully managing diabetes for the
last several years, I think we all thought that my mom would be able to beat
whatever it was that was causing her health issues.
After
meeting with the neurologist he said that given the progressive state of her
condition he felt that it could be one of two things. However without further
tests, the neurologist didn’t want to make a final diagnosis. He wanted my mom
to see another neurologist, an expert in the field of ALS research who runs the
University of Utah’s ALS clinic. He put in an urgent request for a consultation
with this doctor and my parents were sent home to wait for the ALS clinic to
call and set up an appointment. They were told that it could be several weeks
before they were able to be seen by the doctor and so they prepared to wait. It was about a week and a half after her
initial meeting with the doctor in Provo that the ALS clinic called to say
there had been a cancellation and that they could see my mom if she was able to
come in the next Tuesday. Arrangements were made and they met with the
neurologist on March 25th. After some more tests were run, they concluded that
my mother had a rapidly advancing form of ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) and that,
given how quickly it is progressing; she might have up to six months to a year
left to be with us. It was shocking news to all of us.
And yet, in
spite of the situation, I have found several things that added to an ‘attitude
of gratitude’ for me in this situation.
I am
grateful that there was an actual diagnosis. After months of not knowing, to
have a definitive answer is a blessing, even though it is bittersweet.
I am
grateful for a knowledge of the plan of salvation and that the sealing power of
the Priesthood has been restored so that my family can be together eternally if
we live worthily.
How grateful
I am for personal prayer. It has been a sustaining thing for me. I am equally
grateful for the prayers of friends in my behalf and in my family’s behalf.
There is not much sweeter than hearing a child with all their tender faith
praying for you.
I have gratitude
for the fact that my five brothers and sisters, along with their spouses and
children (except my nephew who is on his mission) were able to meet at my
parent’s house the weekend after the diagnosis to spend some time together and
were able to witness the power of the Priesthood in action as a family prayer
was said and then as a blessing of peace and comfort was given to my mom by my
dad with my three brothers and two brothers-in-law standing in the circle and
then a blessing was given to my father by my brother with my remaining brothers
and brothers-in-law again exercising the precious gift of the Priesthood. There
wasn’t a dry eye as these special prayers were given and it felt like Heaven
was a little closer for those moments. How could I not be grateful to have had
the chance to experience those special moments with my family?
Three of my
siblings live in Huntington near my parents and have taken on the day to day
support of both my mom and dad. I am grateful that they are there and willing
to give the care and support that those of us who live further away cannot
give.
Many people
who know my parents have called or stopped by to visit and tell my mom what a
profound impact she had on their lives and how grateful they are to know her.
Because it has become more difficult for her to communicate, some dear friends
come simply to sit and share quiet moments with her. Several men in the ward
came together and over two days built a ramp for my parent’s house so that my
mom can move around with the wheelchair she now must use. Another friend
provided a chair with a lift to make it easier for my mom to get out of the chair
when she needs to. How thankful I am that my parents have that support.
I have
gratitude for a mother who has been a profound influence and example in my life
of love and care and compassion especially for her family.
I have
gratitude for a father who has a deep and abiding love for my mom and takes
care of her with such love and tenderness every day.
I am
grateful for and have been blessed by both of their examples throughout my
life.
I am
thankful for friends who share and care and love and support in so many
different ways. All of these things mean so very much.
I have found
that even in the midst of trials there are so many blessings that can be
counted when looked at with an attitude of gratitude.
President
Uchtdorf concludes his talk by saying, “Brothers and sisters, have we not
reason to be filled with gratitude, regardless of the circumstances in which we
find ourselves?
Do we need
any greater reason to let our hearts “be full of thanks unto God”?
“Have we not
great reason to rejoice?”
How blessed
we are if we recognize God’s handiwork in the marvelous tapestry of life.
Gratitude to our Father in Heaven broadens our perception and clears our
vision. It inspires humility and fosters empathy toward our fellowmen and all
of God’s creation. Gratitude is a catalyst to all Christlike attributes! A
thankful heart is the parent of all virtues.
The Lord has
given us His promise that those “who [receive] all things with thankfulness
shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto
[them], even an hundred fold, yea, more.”
May we “live
in thanksgiving daily”—especially during the seemingly unexplainable endings
that are part of mortality. May we allow our souls to expand in thankfulness
toward our merciful Heavenly Father. May we ever and constantly raise our
voices and show by word and deed our gratitude to our Father in Heaven and to
His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ."
I add my own
testimony to that of President Uchtdorf’s. I know that we have a merciful and
kind Father in Heaven who will sustain us through all we are asked to go. I
know that having a grateful heart in all our circumstances will allow us to
become closer to our Heavenly Father and more like our Savior, Jesus Christ. I
have a testimony of the power of prayer, of the power of the Priesthood, of the
eternal nature of families. I have a testimony of the Atonement. I know that
because our Elder Brother bore all things for us in the Garden of Gethsemane
and then on the cross that we can do all things and return to live with our
Heavenly Father and with loved ones, our families and friends when our time on
this earth is through. I have a sure knowledge of these things and so many
more. I leave you with this testimony in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
